Passing Time Read online

  Louis glared at him. “What do you want me to do? Pretend like you never existed? Pretend like I actually care my heart still beats and my liver still functions without you?”

  “No.” Carter seated himself in the recently vacated chair as though Louis’s rage counted for nothing. “What I want you to do is go back to your apartment across the river and take the man who’s waiting for you there back to bed.”

  “Don’t you mean the airhead?”

  The corner of Carter’s mouth twitched upward. “I like him. I think you like him too.”

  “Sure I like him. But not enough to imagine a midday fuck will make all my problems magically disappear. Cart, I hate to disappoint, but seriously, Jake Harvey’s ass? Not that hot.”

  “As I said, Jake Harvey is more than a fuck. Or could be. If you let him.”

  Louis raked his hand through the hair he’d neglected to comb. “He was a few hours of fun. No, more like twenty minutes’ worth before he fell asleep on me. Forget him. With luck, he’ll be gone by the time I get back.”

  “With luck, he won’t,” Carter said in a low voice. “At least admit you care for him.”

  “What gave you that idea?”

  “You’ve mentioned him to your mother. By name, if you please. That particular honor passed me right on by.”

  “You know I wrote her a letter about us after we first met. And a few times more over the years. I even sent her a photo of us in Venice, remember? I heard nothing back. Might’ve been different if you were a woman.” He glanced toward his mother and wondered what she’d think of her queer son talking to thin air.

  Carter stood and joined him at the window. “You can’t live another forty years like this,” he said softly. “It’s not what we agreed.”

  “Maybe I’m not planning on hanging around that long,” Louis said, meeting Carter’s eyes just for a moment before looking away again.

  “Louis—”

  “Relax, honey. I’m not about to do myself in. If I had the nerve, I’d have done it long before now.”

  “How nice to have the choice.” The sudden ice in Carter’s tone irked Louis even more than if he’d received the expected lecture.

  This was too much. He raised his face. “You had a choice too, once. Only instead of fighting you retreated, leaving me wishing I’d come with you. So don’t lecture me. Okay? I am not the coward here.”

  The room cooled to silence. Louis turned and pressed his forehead against the blinds. He bit his tongue, hard.

  “I didn’t mean… I’m just”—he turned to apologize and found himself alone—“useless without you,” he whispered to the empty air.

  It wasn’t until he was walking into the nearest pub he realized he’d neglected to say good-bye to his mother.

  * * *

  Later that evening a pleasantly anesthetized Louis arrived back at his apartment. He hung up his jacket and half stumbled into the lounge, surprised to find Jake curled up asleep on the couch. He’d changed his clothes at some point during the day, swapping the sapphire blue shirt and smart black trousers for a tight white T-shirt and even tighter jeans. The bottle of red wine, now empty, sat on the floor at his feet.

  In the kitchen, Louis set about making coffee. Jake would probably need help sobering up before being sent on his way. He opened the fridge for milk. This wasn’t his refrigerator. Couldn’t be. It was full of green. Lettuce, peppers, broccoli, along with milk, eggs, some kind of prepackaged white meat, a prepared salad in a bowl, and a quiche on a dish with two slices missing. Jake had fetched him home a week’s worth of shopping. Why? Did he not look as though he were able to take care of himself?

  He finished making the drinks while he gathered his thoughts and set the mugs on the coffee table before giving Jake’s shoulder a hearty shake.

  Jake’s eyes snapped open, and he lifted his head, taking in his surroundings.

  “I thought you might appreciate a coffee,” Louis said, gesturing to the mug.

  Jake gave his eyes a bit of a rub as he swung his feet to the floor. “Thanks. Is your mum okay? Did something happen?”

  Louis was touched by his concern. “No. She’s the same.”

  “Visiting hours must have been over hours ago. What’s the time?” Jake checked his watch. “I bet it’s more than half past seven.” He tapped the glass and pressed the watch to his ear. “I think the battery’s dead.”

  Louis had no idea of the time except it was dark outside, and he was exhausted.

  Jake opened his mouth as if to ask another question, probably about what he’d been up to during those intervening hours, but he caught himself and changed tack.

  “I made lunch. It’s in the fridge. When you didn’t come back, I thought I’d save it for dinner. When you still didn’t come back, I decided to finish the wine from last night.” He reached up and gave his head a scratch as if he couldn’t quite work out how he’d fallen asleep having drunk up the bottle.

  “How much do I owe for the groceries?” Louis aimed a thumb over his shoulder toward the refrigerator.

  “Nothing. They’re on me.”

  Louis raised an eyebrow. “First it’s free drinks. Then dinner. Now you’re forking out for my shopping bill? I don’t think so, Jake. How much did that lot cost you?”

  “Nothing. Honestly. It all came from my house, so didn’t cost me anything.”

  Louis could barely believe he was serious. “You stole food from your parents’ house?”

  “Sort of. It’s all fresh. My mum did the weekly shop yesterday.”

  “That is not the point. You can’t go taking food from your parents to feed me.”

  “You need to eat.”

  “I like to think I’m old enough to shop for myself.”

  “Yeah. I can tell you don’t much appreciate me helping you out.” Jake rose, yawned, and stretched, his T-shirt riding up, revealing an inch of toned, golden belly. “Call me if you like,” he said before heading toward the door.

  That was it? The guy had waited around all day, and now he was going to walk away?

  Why not? He hadn’t been made welcome. Louis hadn’t even thanked him for the food. He’d complained instead. He didn’t want to spend the night alone thinking about all the vile things he’d said to Carter today. Or live to regret sending Jake away. Especially when there was no need.

  “Jake?”

  Jake paused half in, half out of the door and looked over his shoulder.

  “I don’t have your number.”

  “Oh. No, you don’t. Got a pen?” He closed the front door and trotted back into the room.

  Louis gestured to the telephone table in the corner. It sat fairly low down, so Jake had to bend to write on the notepad. The jeans he wore were tight as a second skin over his ass cheeks, and Louis’s own words came back to haunt him as he stood there unable to look anywhere else. Jake Harvey’s ass, not that hot? Who was he trying to kid?

  It was one thing arguing the point with his dead lover, another entirely when the subject of the argument was right here in the room with him. Once again he was faced with the same dilemma as the night before. Did he send Jake on his way and spend yet another night alone? Or did he pull his sweater over his head, toss it on the floor, and unzip his fly, so when Jake finished jotting down his number and turned around, Louis was wearing nothing but underpants and an unsteady smile?

  “I was thinking about going to bed,” Louis said, though he could barely hear himself over his heartbeat, almost loud enough to drown his doubt as he slipped out of his sweater. When Jake’s sky blue gaze lit on him, critical as daylight, Louis pushed his jeans and underpants to his ankles and stepped free of them. “You want to join me?” Without waiting for an answer, he turned away, bare-ass naked, threw open the bedroom door, walked in, and settled himself on the bed. Although he felt like a prize dick, he suspected he might just have made Carter proud.

  Jake soon followed, easing his T-shirt over his head as he entered the bedroom. He slipped out of his jeans an
d stood still for a second, as if giving Louis the chance to study his fine, muscled body. Louis raised his attention from Jake’s rising cock to his face and realized this wasn’t showing off. He was waiting.

  “Come here.” The words emerged as a rolling growl in Louis’s throat. Jake grinned, crawled onto the bed, and settled on top of Louis, his cock pulsing against Louis’s belly.

  “I knew you’d want me stay tonight.” He smiled, holding himself up on his palms. His eyes sparkled with confidence.

  “You think so?” The night before, or even half an hour ago, such certainty might have irked Louis into changing his mind. Now Jake’s confidence warmed him, although he couldn’t even begin to explain why.

  “Knew so. I brought my toothbrush. It’s in the bathroom.”

  Louis stroked a finger across Jake’s stubble-roughened jaw. “Did you bring a razor too?”

  “I thought I might use yours.”

  Louis raised an eyebrow. Self-confidence could quickly morph into arrogance. “You realize I haven’t asked you to stay yet.”

  “No problem.” Jake dipped down, pressed a quick kiss to Louis’s lips. “I’ll just make sure we’re not done here until morning.”

  Louis laughed, slipped his arms around Jake’s waist, and used his weight to roll them both over. Last night, Jake had explored Louis’s body with his hands. Tonight Louis would return the favor. With his lips.

  He lowered his head to Jake’s collarbone and kissed along the ridge, his nose brushing the rapid little beat at the base of Jake’s throat. Jake gave a languid sigh, tickling his deft fingers up Louis’s spine as Louis shifted his attention to Jake’s chest. He was smooth there, waxed at a guess, and Louis traced his lips across the smooth skin to one of Jake’s pert nipples. He lapped at the hard little nub, nipped at the sweat-slicked flesh, and the clean, fresh flavor zinged off his tongue. Sex had become a bit of distant memory recently, but Louis craved the closeness he’d shared with Jake the night before. The man had awakened something in him, and he intended to make the most of it.

  Licking a path down Jake’s belly, he tasted the salty sweat of his skin. He drew back to study Jake’s cock, the thick, graceful shaft suffused with blood, the flared and exposed head a faint purple, already wet with need. Above him the air pulsed with the sound of Jake’s short, eager breaths. He looked up. Jake had propped himself up on his elbows, as if waiting for Louis to take him into his mouth. He hadn’t thought to do that. Hadn’t thought of taking his tongue any farther south than Jake’s navel.

  Such an intimate business, pleasuring another man orally. He hadn’t tasted another man’s orgasm in two years. Not since Carter’s, days before his death, and it didn’t matter how many times he cleaned his teeth or gargled mouthwash since. He’d never managed to quite lose that taint of decay.

  Now, though, his cock thrummed with the idea of tasting Jake. Perhaps this was something he could try again. He dipped to trace a large vein on the underside of Jake’s shaft with the tip of his tongue. He tasted salt and clean sweat. Encouraged by Jake’s soft moans, he drew back the foreskin with his fingers and sampled the clear, tangy liquid already seeping from the head.

  “You know…” Louis raised his gaze. “I remember how this goes now.”

  Jake gave him a puzzled frown. He didn’t understand, but that didn’t matter. Louis would show him. Louis made a fist around the base of Jake’s cock and guided the head between his lips. The steel-hard shaft glided down into the soft tissue of his throat. Hollowing his cheeks, he withdrew almost to the head before bearing down again, a little faster, settling into a rhythm that had Jake grinding at Louis’s face. Louis gagged every time Jake’s cockhead nudged the back of his throat, but he was determined to take every last inch, even when Jake twisted his hips in a sudden but concerted effort to pull away.

  “Louis,” he said with breathless urgency. “I don’t want to come yet.” Strong fingers locked in his hair and tugged. “Please! Ease up.”

  Louis clamped his hands against Jake’s bucking hips and opened his throat, determined to take Jake deeper.

  “Louis.” Jake groaned, still trying to disengage himself.

  Louis kept him lodged deep, breathing through his nose as Jake’s pubic hair prickled his nostrils. Blood surged to his own cock, rigid against the sheet beneath him. He shifted his hips to relieve the pressure, keeping his mouth tight on the velvety skin of Jake’s hot shaft.

  Jake tensed. His fingers tightened in Louis’s hair. Rather than try to pull away, he punched forward with a determined pump of his hips. On the third thrust, a thick shot of sperm gushed over Louis’s tongue, fresh as spring. Its suddenness surprised him, but he suppressed the urge to cough, swallowing instead, continuing to suck at Jake’s cock until it lay flaccid and slippery in his mouth. He withdrew and kissed a damp trail up Jake’s body.

  “Not fair.” Jake breathed out his disappointment, his body as limp as his cock.

  “I’m not going to apologize.” Louis reached over to brush Jake’s hair from his face. His eyes were closed, the lids papery thin and threaded with tiny blood vessels. “I needed to taste you.”

  Jake’s eyes opened. “You needed to?”

  “I don’t expect you to understand.”

  “Is that your thing? Tasting guys’ spunk like it’s…wine or something?” He grinned, dimples hollowing his cheeks.

  “No.” Louis laughed. “I needed your flavor. Just yours.”

  The dimples faded. “Why?”

  Why, indeed. Louis moved closer and pressed his erection against Jake’s thigh. “When do you go back to university?”

  “A month. But I don’t want to think about that now.”

  Louis stroked the underside of Jake’s jaw. “Got any plans for that month?”

  “Not really. Just work. The gym. Chilling at the beach. Oh, and maybe having sex with you?” That last part was spoken in a hopeful tone.

  Louis clasped Jake’s chin between thumb and forefinger and leaned in for a quick kiss. “The last bit sounds like a plan.”

  His eyes shone with the possibility. “You mean like a summer fling?”

  Louis wasn’t sure. He half thought Jake had been joking and had gone along for the ride. But clearly Jake wasn’t laughing, and he allowed himself to consider them spending more time together, waking to Jake’s smile and luscious body every morning for the next month. Having someone here to warm his bed and keep him company tempted him more than he’d care to admit.

  “Exactly like that,” Louis said, running a hand down Jake’s body. He closed his fingers around the already thickening shaft.

  “I think we’d better start making the most of our time together.” Jake reached for a condom.

  Chapter Five

  In the dark, Louis slipped the bloated condom off his dick, knotted it, and dropped it into the litter bin he’d placed by the bed. Settling back into the pillows to appreciate the loose-boned postorgasmic glow that always accompanied a bout of energetic sex, he waited for Jake to move across and wrap around him. Several moments passed, and all Jake did was call his name from the other side of the bed.

  “Louis?” His voice sounded small and lost in the dark. “Can we talk?”

  Talk? Jake usually fell right off to sleep after sex. They’d even laughed about it once or twice these past few days. Now, apparently, he wanted to talk.

  Louis had a dark feeling Jake was about to touch on a topic he’d rather not discuss. “What’s on your mind?”

  “You, mostly.” A moment later the bedside lamp flickered on, lending the room a warm orange blush. Jake threw off the sheet, crawled over, and straddled Louis’s thighs. “Do you remember what you said three weeks ago?”

  “I said a lot of things three weeks ago.” Louis reached out to trace the dips and ridges of Jake’s abdomen. Jake worked hard for this body. He pumped iron in the gym for an hour a day, every day. He’d invited Louis along a time or two and made efforts to persuade him to try a contraption. Louis declined. He also
declined trips to the beach and meals out. That would be skimming close to the boundary of summer fling and into something entirely different.

  “I want to talk about what’s going to happen, or not happen, when I go back to uni.”

  “We don’t have to think about that yet.” Louis shifted his weight under the pressure of Jake’s backside.

  “I’m due in class first thing next Monday morning. We only have a week left together.”